How the Internet inspired me to Come Out of the Closet

The internet can be a beautiful place. It is not only the place that helped me realize my queerness (no, not “convinced me of my queerness”) and find community. It helped me feel safe when so much of the world does not.

You see, I had been a “practicing queer” for about 5 years. I had gone on dates with people I met through the internet because, as a feminine presenting person, everyone would assume I was straight. I didn’t have the guts to show up to queer spaces alone, and even when I did go to those spaces (with my gay male friends), no one knew I was queer.

I even had an instance at a work pride employee resource group(!!!) where the event sponsor said “You look uncomfortable, are you an ally or something?”. I was uncomfortable because she was making my friends and me uncomfortable… but that’s a story for another time.

The point is that I didn’t feel like I belonged in queer spaces, even though I knew I was queer. Other than my dates, I didn’t know other queer people. That meant my only queer “friends” were dates-that-didn’t-go-anywhere or exes. Not the healthiest queer community…

Then, COVID happened. We were stuck inside on and off for 2.5 years and, as a collective, everyone spent a lot of time on the Internet.